I Am Not Bird Lady

Sometimes you need to take your own advice. I had a few days where I've been wallowing in my self pity. I had my heart broken, and the way I was acting was completely contradicting myself in a previous post, where I say: 

"It's very easy to say "oh he/she broke my heart, I'll never love again." But why? Why let an experience (that may have really been horrible) ruin it for the next? Be grateful you found out they weren't the one for you, hold your head up high, and go find the one who is. 
It's easy to say 'this world is so horrible. Did you see that school shooting?'
Well, did you see the support groups, the communities brought together, and the tributes/time spent volunteering?
It's easy to be negative, but it should be just as easy to see the positive. "

I have made myself literally ill. But why? It won't change their mind. It won't do anything but hurt you. 

This isn't my first broken heart. Which I think made me feel a little like the bird lady on home alone. 

let me explain. This quote from Home Alone really helped me through my first heartbreak. 

I know. Home Alone? Yes, Home Alone helped me through something. It just proves that you can find life lessons anywhere. Mine just happened to be snuggled up on the couch (where I hadn't left in multiple days) in my pajamas, top bun, with spoon and icecream in hand, watching whatever came on. Hence, Home Alone.

For those of you who don't understand my reference, here's the quote:

Kevin: I won't forget to remember you.

Bird Lady: Don't make promises you can't keep. The man I loved fell out of love with me. That broke my heart. When the chance to be loved came along again, I ran from it. I stopped trusting people.

Kevin: No offense, but that seems like a sort of dumb thing to do.

 Bird Lady: I was afraid of getting my heart broken again. Sometimes you can trust a person, and then, when things are down, they forget about you.

Kevin: Maybe they're just too busy. Maybe they don't forget about you, but they forget to remember you. People don't mean to forget. My grandfather says if my head wasn't screwed on, I'd leave it on the school bus.

Bird Lady: I'm just afraid if I do trust someone, I'll get my heart broken.

Kevin: I understand. I had a nice pair of rollerblades. I was afraid to wreck them, so I kept them in a box. Do you know what happened? I outgrew them. I never wore them outside, only in my room a few times.

Bird Lady: A person's heart and feelings are very different than skates.

Kevin: they're kind of the same thing. If you won't use your heart, who cares if it gets broken? If you just keep it to yourself, maybe it'll be like my rollerblades. When you decide to try it, it won't be any good. You should take a chance. Got nothing to lose.

Bird Lady: Little truth in there somewhere.

THANK YOU KEVIN. 

It's such a silly saying, but it's true. I, for a few days, became Bird lady. I had been that way previously, changed, then all of the sudden, somehow, got in the same funk. 

I've always been the girl who couldn't ask for help. I hated it. It made me feel like I was giving in, like I wasn't strong enough. 

Well, being strong sometimes means asking for help.

It's okay to ask for help. To cry. To be that girl that is taking bubble baths, eating ice cream by the gallon, and crying herself to sleep for a while; because hell, you got your heart broken. It's okay to do that.

But, there comes a time when that 'while' becomes too long; when you need to be okay again. 

When you need to "use your heart" again, and not just put it in a box, and build your walls. 

Learn from it.

Things end. You'll have your heart broken multiple times. You'll come across mean people. 

But what you need to see is, you'll come across nice people too. People who won't break your heart.

People who will think you're just gold. And until then, keep your chin up.

Be happy with yourself. Be able to laugh on your own. Have and keep confidence.

Don't take things personally (that's an agreement in the Four Agreements book I reference quite often.) Nothing anyone says or does to you, is your fault. It's their own problem. Even if they say something really hurtful directly about you; That's their own problem for having such negativity and for being so hurtful. That doesn't mean what they say is true. Their actions and words have nothing to do with you. It's them. 

Love yourself, because you're great!

Learn. Because there is always something good you can get from a crappy situation.

Be yourself, and be the best self you can be.

Make improvements, everyone has things they can improve. It does not mean you're not good enough, it purely means you're great enough to see the things that need improving, and doing them to make yourself happier.

Don't get discouraged, you're great, and if someone didn't see that, then they don't deserve you.

You may not (and probably won't) have all the answers, and that's okay.
Life is full of choices; learn from the wrong ones, and move on with the right. 

Things will be okay, I promise.
P.S. I am not bird lady.

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